Liv, in the Moment Read online

  "Yeah right. What about you, Livvy? Would you go with me?"

  OMG. Her blood surged and left a slightly enjoyable tingling sensation in its wake. Was he joking? Or serious? I can't tell! She wanted to wail at the uncertainty of it, because the part of her she had hoped dead--or at least deeply, deeply buried--wanted desperately to think he was serious. Wanted desperately to go with him.

  "You're joking, aren't you?" She opted for safety.

  "Am I?" He winked.

  Her shoulders slumped slightly. "Very funny, Connor. Ha-freaking-ha."

  He looked away, a slight smile still playing about his lips. "I'm trying to be nicer to Ana. You know, more considerate."

  "Yay for you. Hoping to get care packages when you are shipped overseas?"

  "Naw. I know you'll take care of those."

  She scowled. Because he was right. "I hope Jackson asks me to Homecoming tonight." She had to refocus her attention on Not-Connor, because she was still shaken by how strong her reaction had been to his pretend invitation.

  "Maybe you should go with Brody."

  "Darcy! Walk!" She gave Connor a look and stepped past him.

  Connor took the leash from her hand and fell into step beside her. "If Brody knew you would go with him, he'd take you. In a heartbeat, Liv. He still has it pretty bad. Kind of painful to watch him looking at you and Jackson."

  "Brody's going with Chelsea."

  "What happened to Jayden?"

  Liv was impressed he actually remembered. "Chelsea says he doesn't truly know she exists."

  "I thought they grew up together or something."

  "You do listen!" She beamed at him.

  His smile was smug. "To the stuff that matters."

  "Jayden never acknowledges her. It doesn't help she never tries to talk to him."

  Connor told Darcy to heel. Liv almost said, "Good luck with that." But then Darcy slowed and came to walk beside Connor. She didn't know Darcy even knew what a command was. "I'm a terrible doggy-mom."

  Connor patted her back. "Darcy knows who's in charge here. Maybe you should follow his example, Puppy. Make Jackson work for you."

  She was so irritated she couldn't respond for a moment. "Sometimes I can't stand you."

  "Why?" He actually sounded baffled.

  "You just called me a dog! And told me to listen like one too!"

  "Dogs are great. I bet Jackson would even tell you that 'dog' is 'God' spelled backwards."

  How could she now feel like laughing? "You're an A-hole."

  "You-- I love it when you talk dirty. But hey, you should be proud, Liv, to be compared to such a godly animal."

  "You should get struck down."

  "Naw. God and I are cool."

  "What?" Was he serious? "You're a man-ho. The two don't go together."

  "Bible said 'go forth and multiply'. Well, I'm practicing."

  Liv looked up at the sky and took a dramatic step to the side. "The lightning is going to come at any moment, I just know it."

  He pulled her back beside him and threw his arm around her shoulders to anchor her there.

  "I do not want to go down in a blaze of glory, thank you."

  "Such a funny pup." He kissed the top of her head.

  She sighed, felt the warm fuzzies Connor was so adept at provoking. She hoped Jackson would have this same effect on her. "Don't you ever want to be in love with the person you're with?" She looked up at his hard, handsome face. Her hands itched to touch his smooth skin, trace the angles of his cheekbones.

  "I don't know. How do you even know when you are?"

  "You just know I guess. Do you think you could be in love with Ana and just not know it?"

  He lifted one shoulder. "I thought about her a lot over the summer. When we first started going out I looked forward to seeing her all the time. Now it's comfortable and it's easy and I like that."

  He was so not a spokesperson for love that Liv almost laughed.

  "What about you, Livvy? Is it the real thing with Jackson?" He was teasing her. At least it sounded like it.

  "Maybe. I think it could be." She felt his grip tighten for a brief moment. "Maybe we're destined to be together and when he becomes a professional basketball player, we'll get married and I'll be on one of those sports wives reality shows."

  He turned his head and looked at her with the strangest expression. "I'll kidnap you before that happens."

  She knew he hated reality shows. "And take me on a kill mission? I could hold your assault rifle."

  "You'd probably accidentally lose all the ammo, and then suggest we bake them a cake instead."

  She scoffed. "It would be cookies, Connor. And don't mock it. The world needs more sweetness."

  "You do a good job of providing it."

  When they rounded the corner to her house, he released her. "I made sandwiches," Mom said as they entered the kitchen. "Did you sort out your dating issues on the walk?"

  Liv looked sharply at her mother. She knew there was an implication in the question but she wasn't sure what it was. "Who are you talking to exactly?"

  "Six to one, half dozen to the other."

  Connor bit into his sandwich. "Leaving this to you, Liv."

  * * * *

  "He's going to ask me to Homecoming." She sang it repeatedly during the five minute drive to the coffee shop. It developed a rhythm, became her background music she was no longer aware of when she got out of the car to meet Jackson. She leaned back inside to search for some gum--

  "What are you singing?" Jackson said from behind her.

  Liv hit her head on the door frame of her car. It hurt so much, tears came to her eyes. She held her aching head and turned slowly. "Hi." She had planned on smiling, but she knew her expression looked more like a sickly grimace.

  "Gonna get a pretty sweet bump on your head, hitting it against the car like that."

  Was that supposed to be funny? She'd take sympathy, thank you very much. She grimaced more theatrically. "Yeah, it really hurts. You scared me walking up like that."

  "Aw, you'll be okay," he said in a teasing tone. "What were you singing?"

  Sympathy was not making an appearance tonight. "Oh, I was, um, singing just a tune I made up." What tune? She knew he would ask. He did. She wanted to get back in the car and drive away. She improvised instead. "About my Uncle Mark's homecoming. You know, he's in the army. Like Connor." The last she muttered.

  "Connor's going into the army? You guys close?"

  "He's my best friend." She was a little surprised at how forceful it came out.

  The news clearly surprised him, but then a look of understanding crossed his face as if it all made sense. She wondered what it was. "C'mon, let's get coffee," he said.

  He bought her a Chai, and ordered chocolate milk and a peanut butter cookie for himself. "So does Ana know you guys are good friends?" he said when they'd sat down.

  "Yeah, why?"

  "Just wondering." He leaned toward her. "Thanks for meeting me tonight, Liv."

  She blinked at the sudden topic change. "I finished my homework early, so..." She shrugged, trying to make it seem like he was lucky she had the time. Connor would be proud.

  "I had fun with you the other night."

  "Me too." She didn't know why she sounded so shy. She didn't feel shy, actually still felt a little annoyed. Her head still hurt.

  "I'm glad." He kind of whispered it.

  Was he trying to be sexy? She thought it was cheesy. She bit her lip to stop from laughing.

  "So, my dad wants to meet you."

  That took care of the laughter. "That sounds serious."

  Jackson laughed. "Like a warden, right?"

  "Is he that bad?"

  "Naw. I mean-- maybe. He's just kind of hyper, you know?"

  "Not really."

  His hand slid across the table. She was still gripping her cup, but his fingers lightly stroked over hers before they settled around her wrist. "I have a practice game this week."

  She felt a l
ittle shivery from his soft touch. "O-oh, that should be...fun."

  "I thought you might come and cheer me on."

  He looked so hopeful, she felt a melting sensation in the vicinity of her chest. He wanted her there. That meant he was proud to show her to the guys on his team. "I'd love to."

  "Good. My dad will be there, you could meet him then."

  Wait. Had she just been conned? And she didn't even like basketball. He finished his chocolate milk. "You've lived here your whole life, right? Would you show me some place only the locals know about?"

  Right now? "I only really know the beach and some cool shops."

  "We could go to the beach."

  "No, um." She knew it wasn't simply for an evening stroll. Connor was right, she realized. She wasn't entirely ready for this. But maybe that's where he would ask her to Homecoming... "My mom said I had to be back in a half hour."

  "Maybe you could call her and ask?"

  "I--"

  "Hey guys."

  "Connor?" She gaped.

  His eyes seemed to search hers, did he recognize her relief?

  "Your dad sent me to get coffee beans. He's out." Liv noticed how deliberate he was in mentioning their 'home life'. "Hey, bro." He and Jackson did the palm slap/hand shake type ritual. "How's it going?"

  "Liv could have picked up the coffee," Jackson said.

  Connor shrugged. "He asked me to do it." He walked to the counter.

  Just as Jackson opened his mouth to say something, Connor called, "Liv, come here. I can't remember the name of the coffee."

  Liv hurried over and whispered, "Dad doesn't drink gourmet coffee."

  "Hell, I know. What kind should I get?"

  She tried hard not to laugh. "I knew you'd crash my date."

  "How's it going?"

  "He wants to go to the beach."

  The guy behind the counter said, "You decide yet?"

  Connor practically bared his teeth at the interruption. "The one that starts with an S. I can't pronounce it." Connor's eyes snapped back to her, but before he could say anything, she went to sit with Jackson.

  As soon as Connor was handed the coffee, he strode toward the door. Just before he reached it, he said, "Hey, Liv. Your mom wanted me to remind you that you need to be home--" He looked at his watch. "Oh look at that. In five minutes. You better hurry. She said you better not be late." He whistled as he walked out.

  "Is he always so involved in your life?" Jackson said. He didn't hide his distaste very well.

  "Yes."

  "Doesn't he have any family of his own to...spend time with?"

  "He's a part of my family." She had the whole, No One Messes With My Family tone mastered. When she stood, he walked her to her car.

  "That's cool, Liv. I'm glad he's your friend. I wish you could have stayed longer but maybe we can do it again Friday?"

  It was a heady thing, having someone so blatantly eager to be with you. "I'm free, so yeah." And maybe he'd finally ask her to Homecoming. It was coming up fast.

  As she turned to get in the car, he leaned down and kissed her. His hand settled on her waist and pulled her closer, until her hips were against his. His tongue probed the seam of her lips.

  She quickly opened her mouth, feeling like an idiot that he had to practically push it open. His tongue rubbed against hers, and he bent his head towards her even more, so that she arched back under him. She noticed it pushed her hips more firmly against his and thought she felt the ridge of his button-fly jeans. Was it his button-flys she was feeling?

  Liv broke away when she heard someone laughing.

  Jackson's smile made her blush. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said.

  She could only nod.

  Connor was waiting when she got home. So was Mom. "How'd it go?" Mom said.

  "Pretty good. Even though Connor showed up." She glared at him but knew the effort was halfhearted.

  She saw Mom smile and asked, "Did you send him?"

  "Me?" Mom glanced at Connor wide-eyed, and then hurried off, laughing.

  "So not cool, Mom!" Liv yelled after her. "I cannot believe she's in on this," she muttered.

  Connor caught Liv's hand to get her attention. "Tell me about the beach."

  "There's nothing to tell. Why did you--"

  "You were relieved when I walked in."

  He knew her too well. "Okay, I'll tell you, but there should be boundaries, Connor. I don't want you crashing every date I have."

  He released her hand. "Fine. What happened?"

  She told him.

  His expression grew dark. "That fuc--effer-- doesn't waste time, does he?"

  "I think maybe he wanted to ask me to Homecoming in a romantic setting." Okay, she wasn't really that naÏve but Connor was angry. Like furious, angry. "Look, guys do this stuff all the time, right? There's no reason to get so upset about it. You're worse with Ana. You've been worse with all your girlfriends."

  "No, Liv. You're special. No one should do that to you."

  "Ugh." She gripped her temples. "I know you appreciate...everything." She made a sweeping gesture of the house, her parents, the ghost of Mark past. "But you're treating me like I'm some delicate...flower, or something that needs protecting from every guy who might want to hook up with me."

  "You do!"

  "I don't want you to!" She really hoped the TV was loud enough her parents couldn't hear them. They weren't shouting. But they were definitely heated. "Jackson was my first kiss, okay? I've wanted to be kissed for a really, really long time."

  It should be embarrassing for her to admit, but somewhere between picking out date clothes and dog walking with him she'd lost her self-consciousness. "And you know what? I want to know more. I want to do more--"

  He suddenly reached out and covered her mouth. His hazel green eyes bore into hers. "I don't want to hear this."

  She pulled away. "Well I don't want to hear about you and Ana either. I get angry too, when I see--" Holy heck, what had she almost said?

  "When you see what?" he said softly.

  I hate that you're with her! she wanted to say. But she remembered her mom's warning that she should look at him as only a friend. And Connor had never indicated any interest in her whatsoever. His protective behavior was only brotherly.

  "Nothing."

  "When you see what, Liv?"

  "I don't like Ana. That's all."

  He stepped closer. "Is it?"

  "No. But you don't want to hear this. Remember?"

  "I want to hear this."

  Her brief flare of courage fizzled. "Too bad. I've got homework to do. You should go get some sleep so you can keep up with your training."

  Their gazes locked. She felt her body sway towards him. His lids lowered. She could have sworn he leaned forward. Then he suddenly spun around and walked out the door.

  She thought she heard him mutter, "We aren't done."

  * * *

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Denial Works

  As if it never happened. That's how they both acted the next morning. He came in as usual. They had breakfast and headed out to school together. As they walked onto campus, Connor strode straight to Ana, wrapped his hand around the nape of her neck and pulled her in for an unpleasant-to-witness-kiss.

  The discomfort Liv had felt with him? Gone. Like, way gone. An astonishingly ferocious fury replaced it.

  "Good morning, beautiful," Jackson said when she walked up.

  She forced a smile, but the sight of Connor and Ana was like an atomic bomb blinding her to everything else. In a really bad way. She was desperate to block it out.

  She wrapped her arms around Jackson and cuddled into his body. She forced her gaze to meet his. He had that look on his face.

  She was still skinny. Still lean, her body nowhere approaching the Kardashians of the world. But Jackson clearly liked it. And that felt good.

  He leaned down to kiss her. She met him halfway.

  David's outraged, "Not you guys too!" broke them apart. "I nev
er get any action here." He pretended to pout.

  "Cuz you're such a cwy-baby," Chelsea said.

  When Brody joined the group, Liv noticed how he avoided looking at her. Exactly like how she acted about Connor.

  She eased away from Jackson but he kept his arm around her waist.

  "No, no, Chelse," David said. "Not to be confused with any. I gets me some action all the time outside of here." He looked toward Connor and Ana. "You guys want to double this weekend with me and this chick I've been seeing?"

  "This chick?" Liv repeated. "What's her name?"

  "I dunno." David's grin was positively wicked. "I call her Pet."

  "You make me sick to my stomach," Liv said.

  Both David and Jackson laughed. Brody shook his head. "You have no respect," he said.

  "I know, I know, and you do," David said. He couldn't have appeared more bored if he yawned. "But bro. Who has the girlfriend? Yeah. I'm just sayin'."

  Connor and Ana walked off towards her first class. Her hand was tucked into the back pocket of his jeans, gripping him. Astonishingly. Ferocious. Fury.

  Chelsea said to Liv, "Come with me to the bathroom?"

  "Sure."

  Jackson trailed his hand from her waist to her arm and then held her hand until she broke free. She genuinely smiled at that. She loved how blatant he was.

  "What's going on with you and Connor?" Chelsea said, when they were in the bathroom.

  Liv wasn't surprised she'd noticed. "We had a bit of a--" What was it? An encounter? "--a thing last night." She described how he'd crashed her date, and how he'd reacted when she told him what Jackson had wanted to do. "He's almost like...over-protective of me, Chelse. I don't get it."

  "He's always been that way with you."

  "No he hasn't."

  "Well, maybe you haven't picked up on it because you've never had a boyfriend before. But you two have always been the closest of all of us. If you guys had ever acted that way, I totally would have thought it was love. Like ages ago."

  Liv wished. "Oh God."

  "What?"

  "I can't have feelings for him."

  "Yeah, too late. Maybe I should have said if he ever acted like it."

  "Ouch."

  Chelsea smiled apologetically. "Sorry but...just focus on Jackson. You seemed to be doing a good job of it, but then you got Connor-fied again."